I love you, Ah Gong

My grand pup has been warded at Tan Tock Seng for around a week already. With infected lungs, fluid was detected there. The doc said it could be food/water that couldnt go to the stomach the right way. Grand pup's had a respiratory failure and has to be on oxygen on his stay at the hospital. Grand pup couldnt breathe well and gets breathless after doing the slightest thing like after his bath. Scans were made and we were told that his body and blood has 80% Carbon dioxide, a lot- much more than a usual being who only has 20% C02 in the body. Doc said he has the lungs of a smoker; but grand pup does not smoke. He does not. Reckons to be the inhaling of 2nd hand smoke from his friends in the past.

Grandpup had to move out of his ward into a ward, shared with another 3 patients; which only admits 2 at a time and has nurses stationed in the ward at all times. Grand pup has to have an mask over his mouth for the next 3 days. This mask will exhale the C02 from his body and push oxygen in at the same time. Grand pup is complaining. Cause the mask is being strapped to his face, its uncomfortable and hurts.

When my family and I goes to see him, he tries to talk. But he can hardly do so cause of the obstruction of the masks and breathlessness from trying to speak. I cannot make out what's he trying to say. It seems like there's something he wants. But yet i cant understand though i tried very hard to. He points to his legs, tugs at the blanket. And I could only understand- after a long time; that he feels warm and wants the blanket to be removed and his pants which was rolled up to be pulled down.

I couldnt control my tears from the moment i entered the room and see him lying on the bed with the machines strapped onto him. I had to hold back my tears for i don't want him to be affected by my crying. And my crying Auntie pushed me out of the ward saying "Dont let Ah gong see you cry". Super double standard!

My grandpup is not in a fatal condition, fyi. He's heart's perfectly fine, his liver and kidney are in the best condition. It's those lungs that are the problem to his breathlessness and sharp pain at times when he coughs.

Grand pup asked me "When can i leave this ward". I said 24 hours. And he sighed so loudly it whelmed tears in my eyes. When my Auntie came, he asked again. This time he wrote on a piece of paper, When can he go home. The strokes of the chinese characters seemed so weak and wanting.

When my sister came. He asked again when can he go home. When we said not yet, ah gong. He wrote again, when can he go back to his own ward. The ward where he can sit on the chair and talk to us. Though he had to be given a oxygen tube to his nose. We replied tomorrow. And again, he a single word. "坐". He wanted to sit on the chair. He doesn't want to be on the bed; for he has been on the bed for the whole day. Such requests evoked so much emotions. They are just simple requests, so simple yet we cant do anything- I cant do anything!